I’ve often wondered about my obsession with females in the spotlight who dangled off the cliffs of tragedy, heartbreak, and addiction. I also wondered why I and other gay men adore the same types of devastated divas… What is about our subculture that is fascinated with the Crawford/Garland/Taylor/Davis storyline? Why are we amazed and dazzled with the rise and fall of a female legend? Is it our slightly connected relation in fighting to be equal in a heteronormative patriarchal society? Or is it somehow not relation, but a subconscious misogynist satisfaction to see a powerful female fail?
The last idea terrified me.
Ever since I was a child I was drawn to powerful females, whether they be fictitious female villains, or powerful protagonist actresses of the silver screen. I looked up to the powerful female figures who dominated men, and fought tooth and nail to be accepted in the boys club. I suppose I also identified when the heterosexual male majority took them down … because I was gay, and felt a kinship to women in this sense (even though the struggle was and is definitely not comparable).